Jose Canseco Fell Into The Internet
A while back, Jose Canseco’s twitter account disappeared for an afternoon, and I had the idea that maybe he had actually been absorbed into the internet. I wrote a super short thing about that, because of course I did:
Jose Canseco fell into the internet. For a brief period, his twitter account disappeared and Jose fell into the hole it left behind. And so Jose wandered through a series of tubes, slapping as many haters as he could, or at least the digital representations of haters. He hugged hundreds of megabytes and challenged several gigabytes to MMA fights. By the time anyone noticed his absence, Jose had already absorbed more of the internet through his pores than any person before or since. It is unclear how he escaped, or how he managed to learn absolutely nothing from his trip to the innards of the internet, but Jose Canseco fell into the internet. He probably left when the internet told him he couldn’t play for its baseball team.